Oct 1, 2019
When we connect to the truth that our partner can leave us at
any moment, then it makes the power of choosing them and them
choosing us a gift. - Mark Groves
How can you create the love you truly deserve in a
Wellness Force Radio Episode 302
Host of the Mark Groves
Podcast: Making Your Heart Make Sense
and Human Connection
Specialist, Mark Groves
, shares the three
questions you should ask yourself when considering ending a
relationship, explains the identity loss we sometimes face in
relationships and uncovers why our journey towards greater
self-love is not linear.
Listen and discover the different love styles that
exist when it comes to the world of dating and
why great relationships happen by choice, not by
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Listen To Episode 302 As Mark Groves Uncovers:
[6:40] What Love Actually Is
Why great relationships just don't happen and we need skills
like communication to create the love
Dysfunction exists in every family but we have the opportunity
to improve that structure and environment.
Our responsibility to break the cycle of patterns and inherited
in our families. (8:20)
The systems we have inherited that make it difficult for us to
be good communicators and have healthy relationships.
Origins of marriage and the fact that it was not designed to
come from a place of love but to get more in-laws.
- Marriage, a
History: How Love Conquered Marriage by Stephanie
Why he found that there's no better place to start creating
than from heartbreak
The relationship rock bottoms we will all face at one point or
another to help us face deeper truths. (12:00)
and patriarchy values that have been pushed on us
by role models, the media, or religion that don't celebrate
The current increase of divorce
for people in their 60s, 70s, and 80s because women are waking up
to the truth of their own experience and their need for an
emotional connection with their partner.
[15:00] Embodying And Applying 'Create The Love'
- Mark Groves
Podcast: Making Your Heart Make Sense
The moment he realized that he wasn't sure if he wanted to
follow through with marrying his ex-fiancée.
How breaking up
with his fiancée led to the creation of Create The Love and
coaching others about relationships.
when he chose himself for the first time and ended the engagement
despite what others would think of him.
Why we're all just one rebellion away from becoming who were
truly are when we make the conscious choice to make a major life
The revelation he had that maybe he has another purpose
this planet than just being a provider in a relationship after
reading Man's Search For Meaning
by Viktor Frankl.
Steps he took to let go and unlearn everything he had been
taught from a young age about relationships in order to launch
Create The Love.
Why it's hard for someone that is close to you to give you
advice without thinking of how it will affect them.
I End The Relationship? Three Questions To Ask Yourself
The three questions someone asked him that helped confirm it
was time to end his engagement
An emotional charge he felt when woke up to the fact that he
is responsible for his life and everything it including the people
that are part of it.
His past fear of connection and being loved to the point that
ran away from everybody who could love him and just called it
It's true that we can feel a lack of connection
to other people but do you run from people who could care about
Why it's healthy to feel a lot of pain and shame when you
begin taking responsibility for your life and choices.
How to begin looking at the relationship
that already exist in your family tree to find out if
you're in one now. (29:20)
Keeping true to yourself, believing that you're worthy of
love, and being loyal to what you really want in a relationship
with someone else.
Relationship Patterns & Cycles
- It Didn't
Start with You by Mark Wolynn
Common relationship patterns and cycles that most people find
themselves in such as not feeling like you're not a priority, being
narcissistic, or thinking that everything is your fault.
Mark's own belief
that kept coming up in his dating life and
relationships - "No one will ever choose me."
A lot of our wounds are not our fault but we still have to
take action and be responsible for them. (34:40)
Why many people feel so much pain about their childhood that
they believe they should have experienced a different one when
really that belief is just a fantasy and they're not connected to
Habits of spiritual bypassing
when we focus on "just choosing love or positive vibes" and not
accepting reality, all of our emotions, and authentic truth.
Digging into the truth and realizing that our false stories
and beliefs are not serving us. (38:50)
habits when we make time for anything that is a distraction from
doing the inner work and prioritizing ourselves.
Why we make it a habit of subcontracting all of our healing to
our partners and expect them to make us happy when it's actually
our responsibility to uncover our own joy.
[40:00] Relationship Revelations Of Modern Society
seeing about relationships in memes, the news, and real life.
Why some people stay in unhealthy relationships for far too
long because of pressure from society
religion, or family.
The length of a relationship is not a predictor of actual
relationship success even though society has made it out to be that
way for decades.
The new shift of seeking relationship depth and prioritizing
that over the amount of time we're in a relationship with other
Actual victories and milestones we should be celebrating in
relationships other than just anniversaries. (41:30)
Overcoming Porn Addiction & Other Obsessions
The work he has done with porn addicts
and his approach to helping him.
An idea that if we remove the sex
actually the story that people are eroticizing when they watch
His belief that all addiction
sourced from the need to distract from a feeling.
How to identify feelings that we're afraid of because we'll
often try to save other people from them.
Steps we can take to move through addiction by first
recognizing and accepting the truth that there is a problem.
His own use of using drinking as a means to numb social
and feel more comfortable talking to girls, deal with
heartbreak, and forget his values.
- When Things
Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön
The Buddhist principle of the reframed explored in the book,
When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön, and how to explore
it with a coach or therapist.
Why we are naturally attracted to the things that hurt us the
most especially as we are invited to heal.
Space Between Our Head And Our Heart
The greatest teachers and messengers in our lives and they
don't necessarily have to have an academic background.
Go by David R. Hawkins
How our past experiences and inner work today is setting us up
for what we will receive in the future.
Josh's current focusing on giving more love without expecting
to have something in return.
How to approach the conflict
that comes up when what you what in life is different than your
What steps you can take to hold onto your authentic
and still be in love without co-dependency. (53:00)
[54:00] Don't Take Your Relationship For Granted
Get Coached By Mark & His Team
Click here to learn
more about their programs and upcoming retreats
If you’re ready to
smash through old barriers, let go of unhealthy choices (from food
to sex to booze to relationships), establish clear boundaries, and
step into the wholeness, love, and passion you deserve and desire,
one-on-one coaching in a Mark Groves Create The Love coaching
program might be just the tonic you’re seeking.
Are you starting to question your relationship, who you are in
your relationship, and how to determine whether you should stay or
go? Are you just starting to explore why your past relationships
haven’t lasted and ready to work through old negative relationship
patterns so they don’t repeat? This program is for you.
Are you struggling in your relationship? Are you looking for
someone to shine a light on the potential blind spots? Do you want
to move forward from a place of strength? Whether moving through a
relationship or out of a relationship – this program is for
Are you going through an intense transition, divorce, or
dramatic shift in a relationship? Are your needs urgent? With this
program, you will have increased access to me via email and 1-ON-1
Wanna go all-in? And do it in a beautiful place with other people
who are going all-in too? Apply to attend Mark’s next retreat in
The Mark Groves
Click here to
listen to the Mark Groves Podcast
Mark Groves, a Human
Connection Specialist, explores the complex world of relationships
and connection. What underlies our connection with ourselves and
others? Why do we show up the way we do in our romantic
relationships, professional life, friendships, our own health and
wellness and more? How do we maintain long term connections that
thrive? Mark has a fun, no holds barred, no BS approach to
exploring the human condition and the fundamentals of all our human
Power Quotes From The Show
What To Do When Your Relationship Hits A Wall
"Is your partner making you a better human being? If they're
not, there are some really good questions you should now ask
yourself: Are they making you a worse human being? Do their values
relate to your values? Do they have integrity and keep their word?
Do you? Those are the questions I ask people when they've hit a
wall in the relationship or they're complaining about their
partner. The biggest factor of rejoining one's self is choosing
yourself for the first time." - Mark
Why Anniversaries Aren't A Relationship Success Indicator
"We often hear from older generations that
people don't take commitment seriously these days. Well, some
people don't but some people who have didn't take it seriously or
they had side issues back in the day. If we say that people leave
relationships too early now, I'd like to put on the table that
people stayed far too long in a relationship before. We make
relationship length the predictor of relationship success and sure,
that's one marker of it but as soon as you know anyone who hates
each other who's together, it's kind of eroded the value of that
number. Now, we're in this revolution where we seek relationship
depth." - Mark Groves
Taking Responsibility For Our Wounds
"A lot of our wounds are not our fault but they're our
responsibility. We might not have been dealt the best hand in life
but we can have the mindset that we're going to play these cards
well. When we step into that space, then we're empowered."
- Mark Groves
Links From Today's Show
About Mark Groves
Mark Groves believes great
relationships don’t happen by accident; they happen by choice. He
has made it his life’s mission to help people make choices and
learn the skills that will lead to a lifetime of health and
happiness. With a research-based approach to dating, Mark empowers
people from all walks of life to take responsible steps toward
living well. His passion and leadership shine in both one-on-one
coaching sessions and workplace workshops where he inspires
positive transformations in how people relate to one another. After
years of studying and soul-searching, Mark Groves has become a
sought-after expert in human connections, and now he shares
impactful words of wisdom to men and women around the world.