Nov 29, 2022
One of the biggest lies ever sold to men: getting married means
the fun is over, life is over… Men who believe that lie never grow
up... They’re consumers. They’re easily manipulated and they don’t
care. They don’t care about a lot of stuff…
When you become a dad, and you have a family, and you’re devoted
to your family, everything changes including your consuming habits.
- Sal Di Stefano
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Wellness + Wisdom Episode 494
Creator of MAPS Fitness Programs, and Mind
Pump Podcast host and co-founder, Sal Di Stefano, joins Josh
Trent for the first time on Wellness + Wisdom Podcast to discuss
his journey from fitness to podcasting, his growth from
divorcing his first wife, and how it brought him closer with his
Are you ready to discover how the idea of fatherhood has changed for Sal, and
what lies our society is telling men about being a father and
Join Sal and Josh to find out what it means to become a
man, why we don't truly know our children and why we should be more
present with them, and how to grow through discomfort.
Listen To Episode 494 As Sal Di Stefano Uncovers:
[1:30] Following Family Values And
[10:30] Marriage And Growing Apart
- How divorce can break you and why Sal didn’t want to be a
- Ending a 15-year marriage and asking himself: What did I do
wrong? Why did it not work out?
- Getting into a marriage because of his family
values, and putting all his time into making money and working
- What he believed a dad’s job was and how different values led
to a lot of fights.
- Avoidance in Sal’s marriage: Burying conflicts and not understanding
the importance of growing together.
- Our modern culture: Glorifying being a
single man who’s having fun VS your life being over when you get
married and have children.
- What made Sal feel like he was missing out and feel
[14:20] How Resentful Thoughts + Feelings Are
- One of the biggest lies that is sold to us according to
- Peter Pan Syndrome in men, how it’s related to consumerism, and how men change
as consumers when they become fathers.
- Objective VS subjective morality.
- Why men with children and are devoted to
their spouses are happy, and why middle-aged female executives
without children are the least happy.
- Facing mortality: What do people wish
they had done more of in their lives?
- How Sal’s challenges in life made him who he is now.
[19:35] Searching For Novelty VS Becoming A
- Why novelty makes us feel alive and the connection with the
- Getting pleasure without the work and
having access to what you want all the time: Why is it a
- The current problems are not new problems, it’s a new
- Envy: One of the 7 deadly sins has been around for thousands of
years but the circumstances are different now.
- Why Sal thinks a good woman turns you from a boy into a
- Differences between men and women: The biological
clock, emotional attachment.
- Chris Rock: “A man would live in a cardboard box if that’s all
he needed to do.”
- Jordan Peterson
- The spiral of evolution: The right woman will make a man
- Why older adults in long-term relationships have better
[23:30] Do We Really Know Our Children?
- Sal shares why not exercising actually hurts more than doing an
exercise, and why eating
whatever you want is not enjoyable.
- His life after divorce: Trying to be present for his children
and have a good relationship with his
- How divorce finally brought Sal closer to his children, and how
his view on day-to-day tasks completely changed.
- What makes him feel guilty about raising kids
with his second wife.
- Josh shares his experience with taking care of his son and
getting to know him.
[27:12] Providing For The Family
- How to provide for your family: Creating a balance between what you produce
with your wants.
- The ways Sal would provide for his family if his life was more
unfavorable, and why the values he has matter.
- Why he tries to not be on his phone even when his son plays by
- Child development: Why the first
7 years are pivotal for our children.
[29:00] What It Means to Be Present
- How to drive more value from our behavior and the importance of
- The difference between modern hunter-gatherers and us: Why are
we always distracted?
- Why we need to practice presence and how to get better at
- Josh explains why the monkey brain is a construct of the
default mode network and how our
brain is impacted by trauma.
- Sal tells how he tried meditation for the first time
and thought it wasn’t for him.
- You have to practice to become better.
- Why he places himself in situations where it’s hard to get
[35:08] The Mind And Body Connection
- How Sal healed from Asthma in his adulthood.
- The connection between muscles and our breath.
- Sal explains the types of asthma treatments and how they
- How our triggers and fear can trigger asthma attacks and
contract the muscles.
- Why he only uses an inhaler once a year now, and why he
believes our mind and body play an important
role in healing.
- Joe Dispenza
- Bruce Lipton
- What it means, “the body is the subconscious mind.”
- Arnold Schwarzenegger
[38:45] Growing Through Discomfort
- How Sal’s insecurity motivated him to
change, and why he liked the empowering aspect of fitness.
- Learning acceptance and the value of struggle through long-term
fitness training, and why he
started liking the journey more than the goal.
- Why he believes you can get better at anything if you practice
enough and why you shouldn’t be afraid to suck.
- What is the flinch response that’s stopping us from doing
[41:25] Sal’s Life-Changing Health Pivot
- Why Sal likes growth more than he hates discomfort.
- He talks about the radical fitness approach that he had to
change his body and how it led him to Crohn's disease.
- Why he hired wellness experts for his clients but never
actually used them for himself until he got sick.
- The reason he avoided looking at himself in the mirror for a
year and what happened when he finally did.
- Why it’s important to not dwell on the parts that we don’t have
control over but acknowledge
- What it means that we are meaning making machines according to
[45:32] Religion, Faith, And God
[53:28] Growth + How Vulnerability Helps Us
[58:42] From Fitness to Podcasting
[01:10:30] Healing As A Family
[01:17:00] Why We Can't Avoid the Small
- What beliefs make Sal avoidant in the
relationship with his wife: Avoiding the small fights only to get
into a big fight.
- You can’t avoid life’s challenges and discomfort.
- The price we have to pay for whatever path we choose.
- Why Sal never wanted to marry and have kids again until he met
- The moment he realized he truly liked and wanted to be with his
[01:22:07] Letting Go to Come Together
[01:27:29] Becoming a Father: The Identity
- The different childhood experiences Sal and Jessica had growing
- Why you and your partner should believe they are
meant for each other to be able to grow together for the rest of
- The ways in which Josh experienced his identity death when he
and Carrie became parents.
- Why we need to have to do things differently when we have a
family, and how Sal fought that
his life changed after he became a father.
[01:34:00] The Gift of Struggle
Power Quotes From The Show
The Vulnerability Of Fatherhood
"Being a dad, you definitely realize how invincible you were
before in the sense that you’ve never been vulnerable like you are
the second you care about something more than yourself." -
Sal Di Stefano
Facing Mortality: What Is It That Truly Matters?
"If you look at studies on people who are faced with their
mortality, people with chronic disease who have a year to live,
people on the death bed… Nobody says I wish I worked more or I made
more money. Everybody says I wish I spent more time with my kids, I
wish I had kids, or I wish stayed with that partner, I wish I was
more with my family and friends." - Sal Di
Same Problems, New Environment
"These problems that we have today are actually not new
problems. It’s a new environment… The reason why people are unhappy
now is although we have more, they can see the next guy that has
more than they do, as they compare themselves. That’s not a new
This is human behavior. I don’t think they’re new problems, I
think we have different circumstances. Human behavior doesn’t
change, I think we still have to learn the same lessons." -
Sal Di Stefano
Links From Today's
- Dr. John Gottman
- 451 Laura Coe | Understanding
Akashic Records: How To Live Your Dharma, Spiritual Bypassing, Twin
Flames & Soul Mates
MPM: 1480 How To Find Peace & Meaning Amid Chaos With Bishop
- 484 Stefan Chmelik | Vagus Nerve
Toning: The Science + Spirit of Healing From Stress With
- The Bible - Isaiah 45:7
- 405 Tim Corcoran | Vision Quest: How
To Find Your Place In The Ecology of Life, Purpose Mountain &
- 457 Josh Trent: Solocast | Healing
The Father Wound, 100+ Hours Fasting, Vision Questing + Being Alone
With Mother Nature’s Wisdom
- Mind Pump Media
- Mind Pump Podcast: Josh Trent Of
Wellness Force On The Future Of Tech In Fitness &
- 437 Josh Trent | Death &
Rebirth: Why I’m Saying Goodbye to Wellness Force…
- Jordan Peterson
- Joe Dispenza
- Bruce Lipton
- Arnold Schwarzenegger
- MPM Co-host: Adam Schafer
- MPM Co-host: Justin Andrews
- MPM Producer: Doug Egge
- Paleo Conference - Austin, Texas
- Shawn Stevenson: The Model Health Show
- 384 Shawn Stevenson | Eat Smarter: Use the
Power of Food to Reboot Your Metabolism, Upgrade Your Brain, and
Transform Your Life
- 333 Dr. Kelly Brogan | The Spiral
Path: How To Own & Love Your Self
- Jessica Di Stefano
- Arthur Brooks
- Chris Kresser
- MPM: 620 Chris Kresser On The
Chronic Disease Equation, The Potato Hack For Fat Loss, The Disease
Worse Than Being Eaten By A Shark & MORE
- 140 Unconventional Medicine – Chris
- MPM: 1480 How To Find Peace &
Meaning Amid Chaos With Bishop Robert Barron
- MPM: 910 Paul Chek
- Paul Chek
- MPM: 1792 The Secrets Of Happy
People With Arthur C. Brooks
- The Matrix movie
- 369 Paul Chek | All Is God: Three
- Resistance Training
Revolution by Sal Di Stefano
- Shop the Wellness Force Media Store
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- M21 Wellness
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- Leave Wellness
Force a review on iTunes
- Sal Di Stefano
About Sal Di Stefano
Sal picked up his first weight at the age
of 14. A painfully skinny teenager, he felt insecure about his
physique and his lack of muscle and strength. Fitness was a way for
him to apply hard work and effort towards changing and re-inventing
A natural intellect, Sal devoured every fitness, physiology and
nutrition publication he could get his hands on. His appetite for
knowledge is voracious and he used his passion for learning to
maximize his own body’s potential. 4 years later Sal walked into
his local 24 Hour Fitness gym and applied to be a personal
He quickly became a top performer and, at the age of 19 was
promoted to the position of general manager with as many as 40
employees working under him. During this period of time, Sal
learned to master skills of sales, marketing, and communication and
his gyms broke records in sales and production.
At the age of 22, Sal became an entrepreneur. He opened a
wellness and personal trainer facility that offered one on one
training, massage therapy, nutritional counseling, hormone testing,
and acupuncture. At the age of 28 Sals health took a bad turn.
Sal's Wellness Journey
The years of training his own personal body with excessive
amounts of intensity in the pursuit of more muscle combined with
the abuse of supplements caused his body to rebel.
He lost 15 lbs of muscle and at one point believed he may have
an autoimmune disorder. This forced
Sal to change his personal approach to fitness.
He made health a priority and he visited his insecurities that
caused him to abuse his body. It took him a full year of study and
learning to transform yet again. Sal learned about gut health,
hormone health and how to
prioritize health over appearance.
He healed his body and changed how he communicates fitness and
health and was re-invigorated with a new sense of purpose. Although this was a
challenging time for him, it is literally what formed his view on
health and how he communicates it to this day.
At 33 years old Sal met Doug Egge who became his client. They
formed a close friendship and together they created the first Maps
program. Sal was the designer of the workout plan and Doug created
the marketing material behind it. Their goal was to shatter the
failed muscle-building workout ideas
that Sal had personally witnessed as entirely ineffective.
They knew that MAPS programming would be vastly superior. Their
challenge was how to bring this to the masses. 2 years later Sal
met Adam and Justin and together with Doug they started Mind Pump.
The goal with Mind Pump was simple... Bring quality fitness and health
information to the masses with integrity and honesty.
Sal wanted to shift the direction of the fitness industry from
an aesthetic insecurity-based industry to a self-love and self-care
health industry. He knew this could be accomplished with education