Dec 27, 2022
We can learn a lot about eroticism
through our sexual nature but it is not the only way that we can
experience Eros in life.
If you think of your most exciting sexual experiences where you
were just in your most vital, primal nature, where the rapture is
so expansive and insatiable until you reach this moment of climax
where you’re meeting God, and everything feels like light is
exploding all over the place, and your brain entirely turns
If you think of those moments and you apply the same kind of
idea to a regular moment that has nothing to do with sex at all,
what kind of vibration are you inviting into a space if you're
doing that? - Vylana Marcus
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Wellness + Wisdom Episode 506
Vylana Marcus, a singer, medicine woman, and
Fit For Service fellowship coach, shares her journey
from suppressed anger and toxic relationships to finding balance in
life and love, how the imbalance of feminine and masculine energy
shows up in the world, and the importance of tapping into your
What does sacred sexuality mean to you?
Are you ready to redefine the distorted view of sexuality and
By the end of this episode, you will understand how you
can reclaim your sexuality, what sacred sexuality means, why you
need to embrace your darkness in order to heal, and how to connect
to your inner goddess.
Listen To Episode 506 As Vylana Marcus Uncovers:
[1:30] The Imbalance of The Masculine & The Feminine Energy In
- Becoming present with Vaylana: A short sound healing meditation.
- How Josh redefined his view of the feminine.
- Rise Of The Goddess (Film)
- Goddess Rise (Album) by Vylana
- The masculine and feminine energies within all of us.
- What inspired her to make music purely about feminine energy,
and how her music helps women rediscover themselves.
- Why men are shamed for being vulnerable and feeling their
- The balance between the feminine and the
- The importance of asking yourself “How can I be of the highest
service in the present moment?”
- How slowing down helps us find guidance through the heart.
- How the feminine energy allows our intuition to drive us VS how the
masculine energy helps us achieve it.
- The energetic imbalance in the world: The “more
- How Vylana invites men to get in touch with their feminine
- 123 Aubrey Marcus: Own The Day
- Why vulnerability is a superpower.
[18:00] Healing Our Sister Wound + Setting Boundaries
- 430 Zach Bush MD | Sacred Commerce &
Community: How To Thrive In 2022
- Josh explains men’s point of view on being emotional and why
it’s important to come back to a place of love.
- Healing the sister wound: Moving from competition and conflict to support between
- Why feminism is not about hatred towards men and patriarchy.
- The masculine energy of God.
- Knowing who you are in order to be able to set boundaries without shaming others for
the way they participate in the world.
- Why a lack of boundaries creates shame.
- What happens when our boundaries are crossed and why they are
essential for self-love.
[22:15] The Intelligence Of Anger + Why We Need To Feel It
- Hawaiian Goddess Madame
- Why Madame Pele is a symbol of creation and distraction like a
- Hindu Goddess Kali Ma
- How Kali Ma inspired Vylana to make her musical album.
- Why receiving reactive rage from her mother’s side of the
family scared her and led her away from her own anger.
- How lacking boundaries expresses as an explosive reaction and why it’s
destructive to relationships.
- Into The Fire (Song) by Vylana
- Why not allowing yourself to feel anger builds up energy that
turns in on yourself.
- Unpacking why anger is a valid and intelligent emotion guiding
us towards something that needs a change.
[26:22] Releasing Unexpressed Anger
- Why aggression in men is widely accepted.
- How rejecting a natural part of ourselves, such as anger, can make it difficult to
fully love ourselves.
- Why women are externally shamed for feeling angry and called
- How Vylana dealt with unexpressed rage and discovered that the
root cause of her anger was coming from her childhood trauma.
- Why using violence never helped her move the energy when she
- Ecstatic dance: Moving energies through our body.
- How the MadMax movie inspired her to create Into The Fire.
- The root emotions hidden behind anger: Sadness, grief, and
[33:00] Discovering The Goddess Energy
[41:30] The Goddess Archetype
- Vylana’s definition of Goddess and the archetype of
- How we express each archetype as humans and why the Goddess
energy exists within all men and women.
- Why Josh wants to honor the truth of things and what he thinks the
meaning of Goddess is.
- Shakti energy: The part of us that’s evolving and
- Why Vylana believes that Goddess is a specific signature of the
[46:10] Eroticism, Sexuality + Sensuality
- The story of Vylana shooting a videoclip to her song and why
she promised all scenes would be authentic.
- Letting die the part of her that was afraid to be judged, the
need for validation that she was on the right path, and trying to
be a certain way.
- The distorted view of feminine sexuality and sensuality.
- Why there’s not a lot of raw authentic nature in men and women.
- Vylana dives into why she feels gifted and guided by the
universe to express her sexuality.
- Why she cares more about the inspiration she creates than the
judgment she receives.
- Being the vessel for something greater than her: Why the
Goddess moving through her is not about her.
- The importance of having compassion for people who live a
different story than us.
[52:40] Erotic Nature + What It Means To Fuck The World
- Immediate gratification from validation on social media.
- Do women feel liberated when they post sexualized images of
- Why we shouldn’t shame people when we don’t truly
know their truth.
- Difference between male and female eroticism: Giving vs
- Identifying with the feminine on masculine polarity
despite our gender.
- Why feminine eroticism is more like kundalini.
- What it means to fuck the world open according to Vylana: The
divine allurement of cosmos.
- Rabbi Marc Gafni
- Why anything in life can be erotic and how we can learn a lot
about eroticism through our sexual nature even though it’s not the
only way to experience Eros in life.
- Applying our eroticism in regular moments to invite a different
[01:03:40] Divine Allurement + Reclaiming Sexuality
- The etymology of the word fuck according to Josh.
- Why Vylana’s work is purely about planting a seed of inspiration.
- Creating a movement of reclamation that shift cultures.
- Divine allurement and sexual energy: The desire of two people
to merge and become one.
- How the feminine energy allures the masculine into beautiful things in
- How shifting from projection to tuning into the
energy shows you something you’re also able to tap.
- How feeling safe around the masculine energy lets us fully open
and reflects in our lives.
- Layla Martin
- Reclaiming sexuality and pleasure: Why is pleasure are the
birthright and why it’s being shamed by social constructs?
- Why commodifying sexuality is actually a good thing.
- The worldwide sexual revolution: How we are moving towards who
we truly are.
- Why pure sex energy is like a cosmic blanket for Josh.
[01:12:20] Pure VS Pseudo Eroticism
- Pseudo-Eros: Experiencing sexual energy from a place of
- Why bringing awareness and honesty into sex can be healing for
- How Vylana unlocked her pleasure after an argument with her
- What drove Josh to watch porn for two decades and how he
broke free from the addiction.
- The importance of having an intimate relationship with
yourself and asking yourself “where is this impulse coming
- How we chase the pseudo-Eros in everything in our lives and why
we need to give our inner child a lot of love to be able to
- Searching for quick gratification vs doing the deeper
- Why all of us crave to be loved, seen, and validated to feel
like we matter.
[01:20:30] Why We Need Courage To Heal
- Cultivating the courage to let go.
- Why Vylana had to find the courage to let go of participating
in toxic relationships.
- How chaos and toxic environments can make us feel safe when
that’s all that we know.
- Vylana’s spiritual bypassing: Why she
agreed to a three-way relationship even though she didn’t want
- Why she thought setting boundaries would make her lose love.
- Divine intervention: How she met her darkness and decided to
make a life that is true to herself.
- Why we hold our shadow in shame and how we can confront
- How she discovered her shadows during an Ayahuasca ceremony.
[01:28:40] Toxic Relationships + Communication Barriers
- How a past toxic relationship made her realize that she has
basic human needs.
- Why love is not limited, only time is.
- How being in survival mode makes us unable to
- Vylana uncovers why it’s important to move forward when the
situation doesn’t resonate with our needs.
- Communication struggles in an
anxious-avoidant attachment dynamic.
- How she started rediscovering herself after hitting rock
[01:33:30] Embracing Our Darkness To Find Our Superpowers
- Pussy: A Reclamation by Regena
- Why we go through the darkness in order to become who we are
meant to become.
- The difference between healing through love vs healing
- How we can find our superpowers by learning what we don’t
- How Vylana’s rage and grief created her art.
- Why educating yourself on different ideas and giving ourself
full permission to heal are crucial steps in healing.
[01:38:20] How To Move Through Darkness To Heal Our Wounds
[01:50:30] Parenting + Sexual Exploration
- Planning to be parents and how it could change the
current sexual dynamic.
- Why Vylana and Aubrey are committed to making their sexual
relationship a priority.
- The importance of being true to what is true to you.
- Why she made sure she was doing the sexual exploration for her
and not for her partner.
- How she discovered she was attracted to women and why female
bisexuality is more accepted than male bisexuality.
[01:57:20] Letting Yourself Connect To Your Pleasure
- Hedonism: Everything should be pleasure without boundaries and
care for others.
- Why sexual and non-sexual pleasure is purifying to
- Polarity and the cycle of life: Why destruction is necessary
- What it means that pleasure can be found within the desire, and
how heartfelt desires guide us to our truth.
- Experiencing the richness of aliveness: Why we shouldn’t only
focus on pleasure.
- What happens when you’re not connected to your pleasure.
- The more you can be intimate with yourself, the greater your
life can be.
- Why being of service and being vulnerable and honest are the
tools to live life well to Vylana.
- How vulnerability and honesty can shift other people’s
Power Quotes From The Show
"When the energy has the permission to fully move in this full
cycle where you’re holding nothing back, what typically happens is
that it unveils the sadness, and the grief, and the fear that anger
is protecting. The energy of your tears is the transmutation." -
Light And Dark Sides
"I can stand here and look at you, and I have done the work to
know so deeply who I am in all of my light and my dark, and I know
who I am enough to set a boundary and say, 'No, I don’t accept to
participate in the world in this way against the patriarchy.' " -
Being Of The Highest Service
"How can I be of the highest service at this time, in this
present moment? It’s not a practice that’s reaching, and grabbing,
and trying to push forward, and make it happen. If you're really in
that kind of energy, it takes away your ability to listen to the
more subtle whispers. When you’re pushing and being so active like
that, the tendency is for it to come through your mind.
There's so much more that we have available if we can slow down,
listen for a moment, and actually ask for guidance through our
heart." - Vylana Marcus
Links From Today's
ABOUT VYLANA MARCUS
Vylana Marcus is a medicine woman, singer, Tahitian
dancer, and Fit For Service fellowship coach. She guides
people through the realization of their potential using
Her mission as a sound alchemist is to use sound science to
facilitate personal transformation and liberate people from the
stories that keep them from living in the truth of their
She has witnessed sound act as a technology for accelerated
healing, transformation, and the manifestation of desired states of
being as a facilitator of psychoacoustic experiences for
individuals and groups.
She and her husband, Aubrey Marcus, are the founders
of the Fit For Service fellowship, a curated fellowship with some
of the world's top coaches and experts that is specifically
designed to help you become physically, mentally, emotionally,
financially, romantically, and spiritually fit to serve the greater